Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Cultivating Certainty in Your Weight Loss Journey

Do you ever wonder why progress seems elusive despite your best efforts to lose those extra pounds? We're exploring the less discussed issues of self-sabotage and excuses that could derail your weight-loss journey on this episode of the WHY to Fitness Podcast. Join your host, Aaron O'Connell, as he nimbly navigates the complexities of the physical and psychological factors hindering your progress. Aaron unearths the profound insights on human emotional needs as expounded by Tony Robbins and explains how these could subtly influence our actions and decisions.

Certainty can be a critical ally in the quest for successful weight loss. Aaron illuminates how having a definitive plan, confidence in your ability to execute it, and a deep understanding of the reasons behind your fitness journey can profoundly impact your success rate. Tune in as he takes a spiritual turn, advocating for a fitness journey connected to God for an additional layer of motivation and focus. Taking inspiration from billionaire HL Hunt, Aaron breaks down the three key components that spell success and how these can be harnessed for your weight loss journey. For those struggling with weight loss, this episode is a treasure trove of enlightening insights designed to help overcome self-sabotage and maintain unwavering consistency.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:04

For anyone to be 100% motivated 100% motivated to achieve their goals three things must happen. If there's any doubt in your mind that you won't be able to follow through with the plan that you're going after, the likelihood that you're going to follow through is slim to the eye. Welcome to the Y2 Fitness Podcast. I'm your host, aaron O'Connell, and today I am talking about self-sabotage, excuses and why you're not losing weight. There's many physical possibilities you're not losing weight. If you just do a Google search, you'll find a huge amount of reasons why you're not losing weight. There certainly is no shortage of information out there. But then why do people still struggle to reach their goals If there is countless proven ways to lose weight through different diet and exercise programs? Why are people struggling so much to lose weight? For my observation over the past decade as a trainer, people aren't struggling to lose weight or achieve their goals because they don't know how. Rather, they struggle to stay consistent with their plan to ever lose weight in the first place. Consistent sabotage and excuses are the leading culprit on why you're not losing weight. What if I told you that you're not following through and consistently sabotaging and making excuses is because you're subconsciously trying to fill your emotional needs. Not your physical needs like food or shelter, but the emotional needs that drive everything you do.

Speaker 1: 1:56

But first let's quickly explore some physical reasons why you're not losing weight, because if any of these apply to you, then the answer is straightforward. Number one you're eating too many calories. If you're consuming more calories than you're burning each day, you're not going to lose weight. Or, on the flip side, if you've been eating too little calories for too long, your metabolism will lower to adapt and you'll really not lose weight because you're shutting down your body. Your thyroid will be going down, your hormone production will be going down. You'll be starting to eat muscle.

Speaker 1: 2:37

Third reason could be you're not drinking enough water. Every function in the body happens in a mean of water. This water is crucial to lose weight. Peeing is actually one of the three ways you lose fat. Your only way you can get rid of fat is by peeing, breathing and sweating. Next reason is you're not eating enough protein, because protein raises your metabolism and keeps you full. It also is the building block of muscles. Or you could be drinking too much alcohol, because alcohol is extremely harmful on weight loss Anytime alcohol is in the presence of the body. All other energy, food, calories goes and gets pushed off to the side because it needs to process that poison. Another reason is your food quality is just extremely low. If you're constantly eating junk food, your body is going to start storing it as fat.

Speaker 1: 3:38

You may have an underlying medical condition which is working against you. That's quite a bit of possibility. Or you could be on medication that could be interfering with your weight loss. Certain medications, like depression medications, can make it really hard to lose weight. Maybe you're just going off on the weekend and going wild and making horrible decisions on that weekend, which actually would be part of that self-sabotage. Maybe you're not even specifically trying to self-sabotage, you're just going off on the weekend having fun. Or maybe you're not getting enough fiber, as fiber helps you move food through your body and keep your metabolism regular. Yeah, you may not need fiber if you're on a carnivore diet or a low carb diet, you won't really need much, but most people aren't on those diets or don't sustain those diets for long anyways. Or maybe you're not exercising enough, not moving enough, you're just sitting there, you're a couch potato. Or maybe you're not sleeping enough, as sleep is vital for repair, vital to keep your body in check your hormones regularly and everything. These are just possible physical reasons why you're not losing weight.

Speaker 1: 4:54

But, as I stated earlier, the real reason most people aren't losing weight is because they never say consistent enough. They self-sabotage and they make excuses why they didn't follow through on what they said they wanted to do. So what gives? Why do so many say they want something yet never follow through? There is a reason why you do everything you do. You may not consciously know why, but there is a reason you cheated on your diet. There's a reason you worked out. There's a reason you didn't work out. There's a reason. The good news is is there's only about six reasons why you do what you do.

Speaker 1: 5:38

According to Tony Robbins, who's met tens of millions of people from all over the world, he figured out that there are six emotional needs that, combined, are the reason you do everything, both good and bad. There are many stories, blueprints, beliefs or rules that people hold that may hold you back, but those revolve around the six emotional needs, and those needs are number one, the need for certainty. Number two, the need for variety. Three, the need to feel significant or special, important or needed. Number four, the need for connection and love. Five, the need for growth. And six, the need for contribution. Everyone has these same six needs, but we don't value them equally. The goal is to figure out which two needs are your top two needs. These top two needs determine the direction of your life, which, ultimately, we determine where you will end up. If you do need more information on the six emotional needs, just go Google it right Six emotional needs, tony Robbins you'll be able to dive deep into that.

Speaker 1: 6:50

But what do these six emotional needs have to do with not being able to lose weight? As I said, these six emotional needs explain why you do what you do. But the first need, the need for certainty, is a survival need and is why you're not losing weight. Certainty, like I said, is a survival need. You need to feel certain that you can avoid pain and discomfort and ultimately find some joy and comfort. Why? Because continuously feeling pain or discomfort leads to continuous damage. With continuous damage comes death and we are wired to survive. Hence why certainty is a survival need.

Speaker 1: 7:35

For anyone to be 100% motivated 100% motivated to achieve their goals, three things must happen. One, you must be certain the plan or the strategy you're doing will achieve weight loss. Two, you must be certain you can follow through with the plan or the strategy. And three, you must be certain why you want to lose weight in the first place. The billionaire HL Hunt put it like this there are only three requirements for success First, decide exactly what it is you want in life. Second, determine the price you are going to have to pay to get things you want. And third, and this is the most important, resolve to pay that, to pay that price. So let's break those down.

Speaker 1: 8:26

Number one you're not certain that the plan or strategy you're going to do will ever achieve the weight loss. If you aren't certain that the plan you're following is the best plan, you'll always find an excuse to waver and you'll sabotage your results. Because, as I said before, there's countless ways to lose weight, from the numerous types of diets to the plethora of workout programs. With this information overload, it's easy to get lost in a sea of information. If you don't ask and explore why a certain plan is the best to achieve your desired weight loss, you'll just be following blindly. Then, when any undesirable thing comes up in your life which it will, because it's called life the chance you stick with it. When you don't know why the plan is even the best plan in the first place is unlikely. Also, the fact that there are many other options promising an easier, newer, quicker way to lose weight. Boom, zero consistency, and any results that were shown get reset as you jump from diet to diet, from workout plan to workout plan.

Speaker 1: 9:31

So what's the solution? You need to start by asking questions why you believe the current plan will be the best fit for you. If you can answer why and it makes sense, then begin it. Then, as time goes on, stay vigilant to figure out what patterns and aspects of the plan work and which ones don't. If you're always screwing up on the goal, the exact same way for the same reasons, just acknowledge it and remove that pattern and replace it with a new one or new plan until you find the plan that works for you, your life and your surroundings.

Speaker 1: 10:10

Number two you must be certain you can follow through with the plan. If there's any doubt in your mind that you won't be able to follow through with the plan that you're going after, the likelihood that you're going to follow through is slim to none. Why would you do something that you believe won't work? You won't, so the solution is finding one that you know you can consistently follow. That's easy and most fun. You want it to be easy and fun because easy and fun is sustainable. Keep a list of all the things you like about a plan and aspects that you don't like of it.

Speaker 1: 10:51

And as time goes on, you start to try different plans and strategies. You'll begin to figure out what you like and what you dislike. Begin through the course of trial and error. You'll end up finding a plan or strategy or mixture of them that works for you and your goals. This is also another reason why so many people struggle is because they're not certain they can follow through, because they keep doing the same plans over and over again. It worked for them this time or that time in the past, but they know they always end up ending it. They don't like it, they can't stick to it. They self-sabotage, they make excuses, but they keep doing it anyways, almost to make themselves feel good. But that's that certainty of comfort that I am talking about.

Speaker 1: 11:39

And number three you're not certain why you want to lose weight in the first place. As Jim Rohn says, the bigger the why, the easier the how. You need to desire to lose weight and have compelling reasons why you want to lose the weight in the first place. Also, jim Rohn stated reason come first, answers come second. Your why is the reason you want to lose weight in the first place? The more reasons you come up with to lose weight, the likelier it will be for you to do so. When reasons become so powerful, they can almost be interpreted as needs.

Speaker 1: 12:16

Unfortunately, the extremely crucial first step gets overlooked way too often and is one of the biggest reasons why you're not losing weight. As a Christian, we need to have these goals. Point to God. If they are for selfish reasons, if they are for vanity reasons, if they are for reasons to make you feel good, these are not strong enough. Wise, because it goes directly against the Christian principles of dying to self, picking up your cross daily, doing everything for God, making him the leader of your life, keeping him at the first to love him with all your mind, soul. It's all that you have, having no false idol before him.

Speaker 1: 13:05

I've seen and heard too many people set out with a goal of losing weight and the reason why they want to lose weight aren't compelling or, worse, have nothing to do with losing weight. So let me show you some. Let's just put together some scenarios that you may fall into. I'll just say Annie is married, yet her husband doesn't give her the attention she desires. She believes her weight is the reason why her husband isn't giving her the love she wants.

Speaker 1: 13:32

Annie decides to hire a personal trainer to help her diet and exercise. Things are going great for the first two weeks and she loses 10 pounds of the 30 that she set out to do. Unfortunately, her husband doesn't even acknowledge her efforts, let alone the results. She then works out and diets a little harder and loses five more pounds. Yet no change with her husband. So what does she do? She sabotages her diet and the depressed state ends up gaining 10 pounds back. Then either two things happen she completely gives up and gains everything back and admits defeat, or she dies back in and goes even harder, only to find herself sabotaging her efforts again with a pint of ice cream and a sleeve of Oreos, and then continues on this cycle over and over.

Speaker 1: 14:22

So why is she sabotaging herself? Sure, it could be the plan was faulty, but she was losing the weight, so that couldn't be it. So I'm willing to bet and I'm certain that she is sabotaging herself because she isn't receiving the result. The reason she truly desired to lose the weight, because what she didn't desire to lose weight, that wasn't really what she wanted. She wanted her husband to give her attention, attention.

Speaker 1: 14:50

So why does she keep doing the same thing repeatedly, despite her not getting results? That's the definition of insanity, isn't it? And the reason is certainty. The cycle of effort and sabotage, resulting a little to no change, repeatedly fulfills the emotional need of certainty. She is certain that losing the weight that 30 pounds will result in the attention she wants for her husband, but she's also certain that the strategy of a higher hiring a personal trainer and Following the recommendations will result in the weight loss and give her that love that she wants. She's also certain that she isn't achieving her weight loss because she is self sabotaging.

Speaker 1: 15:32

The cycle of certainty is why she can't lose weight, but also provides her comfort. It provides her comfort because she still believes she's doing the right thing to get her husband to pay more attention. And, as Tony Robbins states, remember, as long as you believe something, your brain operates on automatic pilot, filtering out any input from the environment and searching for references to validate your belief, regardless of what it is. This is why this is a little side note, but this is why you can't get through to people that are so against Christianity, that are so against why a man can't become a woman, because it's their brains are on autopilot. That's the same thing that's happening within your weight loss journey. She continues to work out and diet and sabotage, never seen results, and it's because she is has a faulty why. So here's scenario to Fred is depressed and unhappy with his life.

Speaker 1: 16:39

He sees all these social media influencers that are fit and believes that if he loses weight and gets a six pack, he'll be happy and fulfilled. He has convinced himself that all these people are happy and have relationships because they aren't fat or whatever it is. I hear it all the time oh man, if I just lost this last little bit of weight, I'd be good news flash. I've been there and it's not that way. But let's continue with the story.

Speaker 1: 17:05

So Fred starts dieting and exercising rigorously and he loses 5% body fat, his goal of getting a six packs in sight. Despite getting to this point, he just got blown off by a so-called friend and, worse yet, hasn't gotten a match on Tinder for a month. The feelings of depression and happiness rush over him and he sabotages himself and eats two pizzas and a box of brownies. He wakes up feeling worse than ever. He vows never to do it again and gets, gets right after that six pack again, only to get to where he before was before and, boom, sabotages again Because some, somebody, said something nasty to him. He then continues this repetitive cycle or just gives up. But why would he continue trying if it doesn't work? Yep, you guessed it. Certainty. He's certain. If he gets a six pack, people will like him and he'll be happy. Every time he gets close, though, he finds himself just as unhappy as before. He purposely sabotages himself to stay comforted that he's certain that he's doing the right thing, but he's also certain he's not getting it because he sabotages himself.

Speaker 1: 18:15

Does any of this sound familiar? The problem with both scenarios is the reason why they wanted to lose the weight had nothing to do with losing weight, rather a feeling. Feelings can come and go and aren't dictated by the situations we're in. We have the power to respond to every situation any way we choose. In scenario one, annie was trying to fix a problem with her husband by losing weight, not related. Scenario two Fred wanted to lose weight to be happy. But happy is a decision, not a result. Fred could have just chosen to be happy despite any physical challenges. There are plenty of jolly fat people out there Just look at Santa Claus. So what's the solution?

Speaker 1: 19:01

Before embarking on your weight loss, we need to write down compelling reasons why you want to achieve the goal and make sure they're relevant. As Christians, we need to make sure they're celebrating God, they're glorifying God, and not just our selfish selves. We can't be expecting a workout plan, a diet, our physical flesh be the reason why we have joy. No, the joy of the Lord is our strengths. The Bible says we need to be deriving our joy off of God and all the things that he has given us. We need to start with gratitude. Praise and thanksgiving puts us in the court of God. God is the ultimate healer. God is the ultimate physician. The Holy Spirit resides in you, your body, its temple. These are reasons why you should be not a fat tub of art, why you should be taking care of yourself, why you shouldn't be constantly putting all this endless junk in your body just because it makes you feel good.

Speaker 1: 20:21

We need to be ready and capable for anything God, the devil or life throws our way, because the devil is after us. Just look at the world around us. We're not struggling with flesh and blood, but principalities of this world. Israel is at war right now and yet we're concerned about ourselves. Our main focus is our happiness. Our main focus is our bodies, our workout plans. We put more focus on our workout plans than we do on God. We're only here for a temporary amount of time, but that doesn't mean neglect our bodies. No, it means that we should keep them in tip-top shape to glorify God, so we can speak with authority, so we can have the energy to be able to go out and witness, so we can have the energy and the brain capacity because when you're more fit, when you're working out hard, you're going to have a more sound mental ability to go, be able to think straight, to be able to go and talk to people in a way that they want to hear it, and not just all around.

Speaker 1: 21:37

We need to live our lives for God, but unfortunately, most people are living their lives by meeting their needs just in the moment and not that long term. They're not eternal focused. They end up feeling good for a short time, like a sugar high, but then they drop. Let's avoid this contradiction by becoming certain that our plan will work, certain that you can carry out the plan and certain why you want to lose weight in the first place. If you're struggling with any of those, if you're struggling to carry out the plan, it's not working, then If you're not believing you can carry out the plan, or you don't know why you want to lose weight, or can't figure out how to connect it to God or whatever it is, contact me. Go on Y2fitnesscom today and fill out a contact form and I will help you.